Gigli … really really bad movie.

I actually really like The Beast.  Great film!

Normandy Invasion was in first, but in the end could only muster fourth place at the Kentucky Derby.  The owners of said horse had feelings very similar to those of us who ever dare to play Allies in G40.  We, too, always feel like we could have won but instead finish in fourth place.  Just sayin.  ;)

Two things on Mark’s comments.

Further to Marc’s comments
#1.  Looking at the Agrarian society farmers model.  It’s important to distinguished that in the Nomad society, the Raider/warrior is the Farmer.  Pillaging as he moves along, living off the milk of his horse, loot from the conquest, bounty of the land.

As for Mongol Officers - Let’s review some important distinctions.  I wouldn’t necessary call Mongol officers “Staff” officers in the sense we know them - but it’s important to note that Mongol officers were not needlessly expended - but rather protected.

The Mongol battlefield tactics were a combination of masterful training with excellent communication and discipline in the chaos of combat. They trained for virtually every possibility, so when it occurred, they could react accordingly. Unlike many of their foes, the Mongols also protected their ranking officers well. Their training and discipline allowed them to fight without the need for constant supervision or rallying, which often placed commanders in dangerous positions.

Whenever possible, Mongol commanders found the highest ground available, from which they could make tactical decisions based on the best view of the battlefield as events unfolded. Furthermore, being on high ground allowed their forces to observe commands conveyed by flags more easily than if the ground were level. In addition, keeping the high command on high ground made them easier to defend. Unlike the European armies, which placed enormous emphasis on personal valor, and thus exposed their leaders to death from anyone bold enough to kill them, the Mongols regarded their leaders as a vital asset. A general such as Subutai, unable to ride a horse in the later part of his career due to age and obesity, would have been ridiculed out of most any European army of the time. But the Mongols recognized and respected his still-powerful military mind, who had been one of the Genghis’ most able subordinates, so he was transported around in a cart.

LOL Ssshhh,  keep my secret!

I think i figured it would be gory or scary, but due to the utter contrived nonsense, it became something of a comedy. The problem is this was not the intention or was it?

I can suspend belief when watching the Three Stooges because they are trying to be funny. It is deliberate. This was like what they did in “Not another teen movie”

When a movie gets so ridiculously contrived that it becomes a self parody and that was never the intention and the actors are not cracking jokes and it turns into a Filipino vampire style movie that you might see on mystery science theater 3000, THEN it becomes either the biggest letdown or pure comedy. Something like Trilogy of Terror had a genuine quality of putting the viewer on edge because the plot did not try to emulate a Wile E. Coyote cartoon complete with uber mega-contrived roadrunner traps. To me it became a spoof like Plan 9 from outer space, except whoever made it figured they were actually scarring people, rather than make them laugh. It went way beyond any dignity that could be covered under “suspension of belief”

Probably why so many of those comedy spoofs use it as a plot device like scary movie. It became the joke of comedies like Freddy Krugger and sold more Pepsi.

What would have been great if they got somebody like Curly and they put him into one of these mutilation machines, and the saw just broke apart trying to saw off his head. That would have been a fitting scene in that movie. Or they could have redone the scene where they pull teeth and done this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcELyKkOAak&feature=related

or this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jocRd-aajW0&feature=related

Definitely one movie, not two.  Chalk that one up to: greed? overambition? trying to do too much at once?  The style/feeling of the movies are different as well; not necessarily a bad thing, but the second segment felt rushed or unpolished and a major letdown.

Enough with the cheese as far as dialogue goes.  This is one of my Tarantino peeves - his dialogue is nauseating, or at least has been developing that way.

I think the major flaw was that it was a parody of low-budget kung-fu flicks on a high-budget.  Maybe not that reason exactly, but something about it just didn’t “feel” right.  A wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak.  It’s so hard to pinpoint this, but his emulation of those bad-but-good films just doesn’t amount to a good movie, and I can’t explain why.  A bastardization of some sort…

The story and premise was laughable - even for a parody - and the ending was disappointing.  I apparently went to the bathroom at the exact time she used the Five Point Exploding Heart technique (or whatever it was called) and felt like I missed nothing.

Now, knowing Tarantino, there was probably lots of little things that I missed.  I’m sure they’re fun and interesting, but I don’t think it would change my opinion about the movie.

So, there’s more I’d add to my critique, but let me note some things I did like.  Music is always a good selection from QT.  I liked the animé sequence - from the first movie, I think.  I enjoyed the choreography of the fights from the first movie, but the second was all dirt & grit (more realistic?) and was a harsh contrast to the first - more on it’s lack of continuity.

Plenty to get this thread rolling.  On a side note, I recommend Lady Snowblood, the main inspiration for this movie.  There’s comedic value, but it’s not intended, and everything else is pure story and action.  A true kung fu flick.  :-D
It’s also pretty crazy if you are under the right conditions…  :wink:

El - Marisa Tomme and she was easy on the eyes huh? No one mentioned the Lizzy McGuire movie as a tops for this summer…

waits to get smacked around

Yes, the sub was a mini.