@Emperor:
@Jermofoot:
@Emperor:
The bottom line is she cheated on you.Ā After that there can be no ātrustā, without ātrustā no relationship can survive.
Well, technically we werenāt together, so she technically didnāt.Ā Doesnāt mean it didnāt hurt.Ā I think it was wrong, and deep down she probably feels it as well, but Iām not sure.
And, Iāve hurt her in the pastā¦I wouldnāt call it cheating, but Iām sure she felt that way.
Trust can always be rebuilt.Ā But it takes two parties dedicated to the task.
Iām sorry but I donāt think that trust can ever be rebuilt.Ā There will always be that doubt, and those doubts will lead to arguments.Ā You say she didnāt ātechnicallyā cheat, but you have a child together, that creates a husband-wife-family bond, she chose to ignore her obligations to that āfamily unitā for her own selfish physical gratification, is that the kind of mother you want raising your child?
I know my words are harsh, but really you need to think about whatās best for your son.
In many ways you are right.Ā But I ādid it first.āĀ Being an idiot and not thinking about consequences, not realizing that I didnāt really want to mess around with someone else, and drinking way way too much.Ā Took me a bit to get my perspective.
Doesnāt mean it is an excuse for her to do the same.Ā But she did.Ā It can always be healed.Ā If the love is there.
She and I had a great talk last night.Ā Sheās still on the defensive some, but as long as you donāt accuse and actually talk about what matters, then you can make progress.Ā She knows Iām hurt, I donāt need to repeat it.Ā And if I love her, then there is always room in my heart to let her in.Ā The door is shutting, but it will never close.Ā It will just take more work after some time to get it back open.
The thing is, sheās not so much rebelling against me, but against her life.Ā She admits that the other guy was a mistake and it shouldnāt have happened.Ā She wishes I was in the place I am now 2 years ago.Ā It would have been perfect.Ā But you canāt force anyone that way.
So now sheās dealing with her new āfreedomā and burdens of responsibility.Ā Sheās getting quite a bit out, but her roommate tells me there isnāt anything I should be afraid of.Ā Deep down, she loves me, and heās pretty sure, as most people who know us, that sheāll come around sooner or later.Ā And she acknowledged that herself.Ā It may take both of dating a few times to realize that, though.
But, Iām not holding my breath.Ā Just slowly releasing my grip from the things I want since they arenāt immediately obtainable.