@Emperor:
@Jermofoot:
@Emperor:
The bottom line is she cheated on you. After that there can be no âtrustâ, without âtrustâ no relationship can survive.
Well, technically we werenât together, so she technically didnât. Doesnât mean it didnât hurt. I think it was wrong, and deep down she probably feels it as well, but Iâm not sure.
And, Iâve hurt her in the pastâŚI wouldnât call it cheating, but Iâm sure she felt that way.
Trust can always be rebuilt. But it takes two parties dedicated to the task.
Iâm sorry but I donât think that trust can ever be rebuilt. There will always be that doubt, and those doubts will lead to arguments. You say she didnât âtechnicallyâ cheat, but you have a child together, that creates a husband-wife-family bond, she chose to ignore her obligations to that âfamily unitâ for her own selfish physical gratification, is that the kind of mother you want raising your child?
I know my words are harsh, but really you need to think about whatâs best for your son.
In many ways you are right. But I âdid it first.â Being an idiot and not thinking about consequences, not realizing that I didnât really want to mess around with someone else, and drinking way way too much. Took me a bit to get my perspective.
Doesnât mean it is an excuse for her to do the same. But she did. It can always be healed. If the love is there.
She and I had a great talk last night. Sheâs still on the defensive some, but as long as you donât accuse and actually talk about what matters, then you can make progress. She knows Iâm hurt, I donât need to repeat it. And if I love her, then there is always room in my heart to let her in. The door is shutting, but it will never close. It will just take more work after some time to get it back open.
The thing is, sheâs not so much rebelling against me, but against her life. She admits that the other guy was a mistake and it shouldnât have happened. She wishes I was in the place I am now 2 years ago. It would have been perfect. But you canât force anyone that way.
So now sheâs dealing with her new âfreedomâ and burdens of responsibility. Sheâs getting quite a bit out, but her roommate tells me there isnât anything I should be afraid of. Deep down, she loves me, and heâs pretty sure, as most people who know us, that sheâll come around sooner or later. And she acknowledged that herself. It may take both of dating a few times to realize that, though.
But, Iâm not holding my breath. Just slowly releasing my grip from the things I want since they arenât immediately obtainable.
