Time for another alegorical joke…
http://www.christianforums.com/t85639
(notice not a PAGAN website this time…)
A pagan dies and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. He says to Saint Peter, “Uh, I’m not supposed to be here. Us pagans go to the Summerland when we die, y’know.” Saint Peter sighs and says, “Well, son, the Summerland is currently closed for renovations. I know you’ve led a good life and followed the ‘do-unto-others’ rule and whatnot, but we just can’t take pagans into Heaven. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go to Hell.”
Well, our pagan friend is understandably upset, but he’s a roll-with-the-punches kinda guy. He asks Saint Pete how to get to Hell, and good ol’ Saint Pete tells him to follow the road off to the left that slopes downward.
After a pleasant walk, he arrives in a huge green field dotted with trees and flowers and happy people wandering about. He walks over to a fella wearing a red shirt and says, “Um, sorry to bother you, but I could use some help here. See, I’m supposed to go to Hell because I’m a pagan–”
“Yeah, I know,” says red-shirt-wearing-man. “Welcome to Hell. I’m Satan.”
“I thought hell was supposed to be all fiery and painful and stuff like that. What gives?”
“Oh, you were misinformed by the publicity department. Gotta keep up that negative PR or God comes down and gives me all kinds of grief. Hell’s actually not a bad place.”
The pagan is flabbergasted and just stands there, staring at Satan. As he’s trying to get his brain back in order, a huge rip opens up in the sky and a large crowd of screaming, crying people proceeds to fall into the gaping hole that’s opened up beneath them. The hole is belching flames and sulfur and all that nastiness. The poor pagan watches this and says, “Satan, what’s going on over there? Who are those people?”
“Oh, them? They’re Christians. They wouldn’t have it any other way.”