@Curtmungus your honor of being more famous than me is quite deserved. I salute you.
Ahhh Villainy
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Well, I do apologize that my comments have offended you so. Not sure they merited name-calling, but I understand you must harbor a lot of pent up hate for people like me, so I forgive you.
I am not Garg’s henchman. In fact, I hate him for being a Canadian. (And for the record, I thought you had a legitimate point with your original question.) I am simply trying to get people to see the comedy that is all around us, especially on this forum, where people are too serious far too often. I can, however, step back and realize that he is amplifying his views because he knows people like you cannot stand them and must make a fool of yourself by nitpicking his “fantasy world”, which hits too close to reality for your enlightened worldview.
Again, sorry for getting you so upset over what is so fake.
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Ironically… MY issue of the day is
The Issue
The various branches of Globocom Enterprises’s military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.
The Debate
1.“Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year,” says Field Marshal Buy Taffs. “After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of Globocom Enterprises. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn’t feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can’t have that. If we’re going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty.”2.“Hah! It’s the Navy who needs the money, mate,” says Grand Admiral Al Gutenberg. “The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy’s borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of Globocom Enterprises!”
3.“Despite the statements of my colleagues,” says Rebecca Anderson, Marshal of the Air Force. “The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft.”
4.“You’re all thinking too small!” exclaims Doris Goethe, an avid Star Wars fan. “What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It’ll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!”
5.“It’s simply not good enough!” wails Elaine McAlpin, the Minister of Defence. “It’s not about the money - it’s the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Globocom Enterprises in the region.”
6.“The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!” cries Maria Singh, while sporting a Rastafarian hat. “People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don’t see why our tax C-Bills should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!”
I have to choose one of those options… any advice?
Also, As I said before, the military is it’s own company. Imagine throwing an M-16 at everyone who works for Shell-oil. No government funding is required whatsoever.
And “expensive” is a subjective term.
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5. … everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Globocom Enterprises in the region."
I would lower the standard to being able to control the inhalation and exhalation of air through a tube.
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Army, of course. Only they have tanks.
I love tanks. -
I have to choose one of those options… any advice?
Have to say go with No. 2.
Considering the basis of not only your economy, but your government, on multi-national corporations and free market trade, I think it is obvious that funding the Navy primarily is the best and most practical option, short of building Death Stars.
The Navy is essential to protecting your worldwide holdings and projecting power abroad, especially as trade routes are concerned. The Army cannot effectively land and conduct a war without the Navy. Additionally, if your navy is even the size of the United States you will have more aircraft in your Navy than any other nation has in its air force; so the air force is not quite irrelevant, but not as essential. Besides, within your navy should be a Marine Corps. similar to the United States which has amphibious vehicles, attack helicopters and tanks… effectively everything the army has.
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I’m leaning towards mandatory conscription for everyone.
I think it’s the best move for a better society. :P Instead of Grade 12, you get Private First Class…
No one can attack you, and going to war is also difficult unless the bulk of people are interested. Justice is handled house to house.
The Switzerland model. ;)
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I wondered about conscription, but wasn’t sure it fit in to your system of government! I think Hoffman has the right idea with Navy. Wasn’t sure you had a coastline.(Suppose you have to presume you do.)
Tell us if you reach the magic population number of 500 million. And try not to get banned again! -
In fact, I hate him for being a Canadian.
Garg, do you think the Yanks figured out Obama was really born in Ottawa and that Romney is merely a stalking horse for Globocom Venture Funds, a protectorate of Globocom Enterprises ?
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@wittmann:
I wondered about conscription, but wasn’t sure it fit in to your system of government! I think Hoffman has the right idea with Navy. Wasn’t sure you had a coastline.(Suppose you have to presume you do.)
Tell us if you reach the magic population number of 500 million. And try not to get banned again!LOL too late…
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Oh dear! Can I suggest you make up some web site with you as the moderator(God forbid) then you might last longer than 3 weeks on one you obviously enjoy?
What did you say this time? -
In fact, I hate him for being a Canadian.
Garg, do you think the Yanks figured out Obama was really born in Ottawa and that Romney is merely a stalking horse for Globocom Venture Funds, a protectorate of Globocom Enterprises ?
I sure did! You don’t even know half the conspiracy going on here. Globocom Venture Funds is based in Newfoundland and Jay Carney is really Emperor Palpatine in disguise. Globocom Venture Funds is investing in a Chinese company making Death Stars.
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In fact, I hate him for being a Canadian.
Garg, do you think the Yanks figured out Obama was really born in Ottawa and that Romney is merely a stalking horse for Globocom Venture Funds, a protectorate of Globocom Enterprises ?
I sure did! You don’t even know half the conspiracy going on here. Globocom Venture Funds is based in Newfoundland and Jay Carney is really Emperor Palpatine in disguise. Globocom Venture Funds is investing in a Chinese company making Death Stars.
I heard rumors that their legal team was do a cost benefit analysis for a contemplated recall on faulty exhaust ports? Don’t know what came out of that…
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Oh, and Count Don Cherry is really a former Jedi Knight using President Obama’s presidency as front for eventual war between Canada and the US over Globocom’s worldwide trade routes.
Unfortunately, no lightsaber technology yet. But if you there were, he would never use one of those composite lightsabers… got to be wood.
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•14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Globocom Enterprises, reporters often lose their jobs over fact-checking errors.
YES!
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Everyone,
As always, I find Gargs viewpoints TOTALLY ENTERTAINING with his slightly twisted**(WARPED)** sense of humor(grin).
“Tall Paul”
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I can’t see why you can’t do options 4 and 5. They are not mutually exclusive and even compliment each other.
Also a lot of people hate us for being Canadian. So much jealousy in the world. -
@cystic:
Also a lot of people hate us for being Canadian. So much jealousy in the world.
Ah yes, jealousy! That is it! :-P
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Well we do have lap dancing and great beer……
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Well we do have lap dancing
I think we have that in the United States too… and beer too, even if it isn’t “great”
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I think it depends on the State. Being on the border we get some 19-20 year olds who can drink here but not in NY. I might be wrong but I don’t think you can go topless nor lapdance in that state. On the other hand, we go over to NY to get booze that is 1/4-1/3 the price and better variety. A win win. Even cheaper to get Canadian beer in the US……
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