I went when I was really young. I think I mainly visited resorts and amusement parks.
Relationship advice
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This may sound a little weird but did she started taking the pill about the time when your ‘cooling down’ happened? Because, if so, there may be a scientific explanation for what is happening. Basically when a woman starts taking the pill (or becomes pregnant, which is how the pill works, by fooling the body) her body chemistry goes completely the other way regarding who’s she’s attracted to and that’s why pregnant women want to kill their husbands.
This is the article where I read about it: 6 Factors That Secretly Influence Who You Have Sex WithBtw, I haven’t made my mind on this (but I have a new girlfriend so I’m keeping an eye on it) but looking at my past girlfriends there’s at least 2 or 3 that this describes what happened: she started taking the pill, a few months afterwards she brakes up.
HOBBES,
You are ABSOLUTELY Correct. I’ve seen several articles describing what you’re saying, and I’ve witnessed it myself.
Radical behaviour changes, libido changes, interest changes, ALL SOLVED, when the pill gets dropped. Particular brands of the pill are worse than others… look up Jasmine for example, and just read some of these woman’s experiences…
Good thought on work Mal!
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Hope that’s it, Clyde. Good luck anyway.
Nice one Hobbes. -
Gentlemen, (there’s a word I never thought I’d use on this forum:-) )
I’m truly shocked at the response here, and I thank you all for your opinions and advice very much. This is just a quick post with word of gratitude to all who have offered advice, again I think you. I will post a longer post addressing the number of questions and other details later, Just wanted to let you guys know i’m reading this and appreciate it very much.
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Haven’t read everything that was posted, so I just thought I’d comment on a couple of things:
1. If this has happened before, it probably has something more to do with her than you. If there is a serious problem, she probably should seek therapy/professional help
2. After a year, the new love feeling kind of dissipates (it can vary from couple to couple). Relationships are work, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So you’ll only get what you invest in it.
3. The times where I wasn’t getting laid in a relationship had less to do with hormones/pill/interest (there was a period of this, but it’s easily fixed) and more to do with happiness. If she isn’t happy, or is stressed/afraid of what you might do, then you aren’t getting laid. Keeping her happy makes you happy. That goes back to #2.That’s about all I got right now. I’d take my advice with a grain of salt, though. I’ve been single for a over a year (by choice)…
…although a girl I dated 3 years ago admitted she was still in love with me (and I with her), so that may change very soon…
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Oh, and reading some of the responses now…I’ve got to say that there’s some bad advice mixed in here.
Essentially, some of the advice is just playing “The Game”, which is just manipulation and preying on girls’ insecurities and emotions. Don’t do it. A real man doesn’t stoop so low.
If you love this girl, then do the right thing and treat her like a grown woman. Yourself too (a grown man, not a grown woman…unless you want to).
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If you want to play it safe and cuddly, the -Jermofoot- way. Then Massage her feet tonight for no other reason than you want to.
Bilogically the sensory pathways in her feet are connected directly next/through to other -stimulating- inputs. She’ll feel ‘happier’.
It works EVERY time, and it’s science. And you don’t become some household B*tch in the process.
ALL Women want MEN. Not laissez faire liberal skinny jean types. Never forget this.
Essentially, some of the advice is just playing “The Game”, which is just manipulation and preying on girls’ insecurities and emotions.
Better to be playing the GAME, than surfing the internet all night. The girls play it too. Thus we all must Master it. :)
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IMO
Game is EXACTLY what you need atm.
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On the one hand I totally agree with Garg. On the other hand agree with Jermo. “Game” is an answer, it isn’t necessarily the answer. If all you have is a hammer everything starts looking like a nail. (No pun intended.)
Rarely though when faced with a problem is less navel gazing (talking about it and re-hashing it and gnashing teeth over it) and more action the wrong way to get to a solution.
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I think we have all seen guys who are total jerks who have armfuls of babes. While I don’t advocate being a jerk, women do like a man’s man. It’s all well and good to ask her where she would like to go for dinner, but it’s probably better to do the homework and have a plan all laid out and TAKE her to dinner. Being sensitive is all well and good but women have friends who can be sensitive too so don’t come across as just a sensitive friend.
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I think we have all seen guys who are total jerks who have armfuls of babes. While I don’t advocate being a jerk, women do like a man’s man. It’s all well and good to ask her where she would like to go for dinner, but it’s probably better to do the homework and have a plan all laid out and TAKE her to dinner. Being sensitive is all well and good but women have friends who can be sensitive too so don’t come across as just a sensitive friend.
I don’t believe your “polarities” are exclusive. Being sensitive enough to know the girl so that you can ON-YOUR-OWN choose the restaurant/dating experience that she would appreciate doesn’t make you a wimp nor a jerk. It’s about being the best balanced guy for the girl. And if I see a bunch of babes around a jerk, I just make a mental note of each one of them, and cross them off my dating possibility list. Any girl who doesn’t have the mental ascension to see that she’s with a bad character is not worth my affection, focus, or pursuit.
GG
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If you want to play it safe and cuddly, the -Jermofoot- way. Then Massage her feet tonight for no other reason than you want to.
Bilogically the sensory pathways in her feet are connected directly next/through to other -stimulating- inputs. She’ll feel ‘happier’.
It works EVERY time, and it’s science. And you don’t become some household B*tch in the process.
ALL Women want MEN. Not laissez faire liberal skinny jean types. Never forget this.
Except that’s not what I was saying at all. I actually was agreeing with your for the most part. Way to take it to a retarded conclusion, but I know you must be purposefully obtuse.
There is a huge difference between steam rolling a woman and being confident and sure. So what should a REAL man do? Massage another man’s feet? I don’t get it. What’s wrong with showing the woman you love some love? I can’t help it that you and nearly everyone else is too emasculated to step up to the plate. “IF I rub her feet ALL THE OTHER GUYS WILL LAUGH AT ME!” Suck it up porkchop, who cares what they think. I don’t sleep with them, I sleep with the ladyfriend. And an angry bed is not fun to sleep in. Doesn’t mean I don’t stake my claim or stand my ground.
But seriously, massage a woman’s feet and you’ll probably get your own massage.
Essentially, some of the advice is just playing “The Game”, which is just manipulation and preying on girls’ insecurities and emotions.
Better to be playing the GAME, than surfing the internet all night. The girls play it too. Thus we all must Master it. :)
I took myself out of the game until the time that an adult worth spending time came along. You play The Game when you want to deal with emotionally stunted children.
IMO
Game is EXACTLY what you need atm.
Sounds like he already has the girl. No need to try and “trick” her into anything.
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I think we have all seen guys who are total jerks who have armfuls of babes. While I don’t advocate being a jerk, women do like a man’s man. It’s all well and good to ask her where she would like to go for dinner, but it’s probably better to do the homework and have a plan all laid out and TAKE her to dinner. Being sensitive is all well and good but women have friends who can be sensitive too so don’t come across as just a sensitive friend.
See…you get it.
Women are attracted to jerks because they seem confident. In my experience, they really aren’t, they are as shallow, petty, and insecure as the women that flock to them. It works out because neither is wanting something lasting, just a short term fix. The girls I’ve crossed paths with like that I don’t have interest in. Sure, they’re hot or not, but it takes more than that for me. I just can’t do the casual thing anymore and if I can’t even stand to talk and hang out, I’m not gonna bother.
You can consider her favorite foods and pick the restaurant. Girls do like a guy that takes charge…but they don’t want to be completely unconsidered either. Knowing what she likes and deciding to go out for dinner exudes confidence.
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Well i think there is a huge difference between being a jerk and getting babes and being hard to get and standoffish, solitary, and aloof. The ‘jerks’ may employ both actions, but it doesn’t have to be that way. By being the jerk it is more of a biological prey on deep seated human needs to find the best reproduction partners. This may entail being naturally strong personality and this tug is something women prefer…Alpha male thing. Woman also don’t really want to know everything about their man, it keeps it mysterious and the unknown is also something drawing them in. It is not games, but an understanding of basic Human needs and making a play for advantages. Heck meeting any woman involves some actions that are less than honest.
Humans are also animals. Animals do many strange dances and noises to find a mate. The Human experience is not much different. At some point you must play this game to find a mate whether you admit it or not, and this will be obvious to anybody who was a fly on the wall listening to the stupid chit chat you made initially with the woman.
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Again, thank you all for the advice, if nothing else I appreciate being able to have a place where I can talk about these kinds of problems and actually get a response ( a rare and precious thing).
I am employed, I hate my job, but it brings my a pay check so that’s whats important. After taking some time to really think about all this I think the cause of at least some of our relationship problems is me. We’ve grown comfortable with each other and our day to day lives, and I take that inactivity and get scared the she is becoming bored. She isn’t the most emotional of affectionate person, and that is not a bad thing, I need to stop reading into things and seeing problems where none exist. I need to stop taking my relationship insecurities and projecting them on her.
This may sound a little weird but did she started taking the pill about the time when your ‘cooling down’ happened?
Good thinking but she had been on the pill for years before any of this started. She is actually on a number med to keep her head on strait, and if anything being able to afford them again has greatly helped her mood.
I think alot of the problems we’ve been having just come from the stress of getting older, trying to keep a job and pay the bills, and having absolutely nothing go the way you plan. I think instead of trying to fight or understand it, I just need to go with the flow, for now.
Again, gentlemen I appreciate all of your insight and opinions on this matter, and if nothing else at least I know I have a place to fall back on if the dice fall the wrong way :-D Thank you
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Self confidence is everything, because if you find yourself alone, you can sill enjoy life.
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I can’t believe how positive and productive this thread is. And from the likes of this crew. I am a bit shocked and amazed.
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It’s because we’re all strategic thinkers, and regularily quantify and explain our actions, and precognitive dispositions based on results, and probabilities everyday.
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@Young:
Self confidence is everything, because if you find yourself alone, you can sill enjoy life.
The ability to have solitude as your primary state of existence will serve you in good stead in any situation in which you find yourself.
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Try thinking back how you looked at her and treated her when you frist met her. Try ‘dateing’ her again. It’s so easy to get into a routine and loose that fire.
If things can’t be changed don’t wait around and lengthen the process. It will help you out, first she will be more likely to desire you back, knowing that you can live without her. And if she wants to move on, you are better prepared to deal with it.
Best of wishes for you guys.
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@Young:
Self confidence is everything, because if you find yourself alone, you can sill enjoy life.
The ability to have solitude as your primary state of existence will serve you in good stead in any situation in which you find yourself.
Good point.
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